Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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