im drinking this country out of the recession.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
