the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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