so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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