my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
