let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Randomize
