he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
