Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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