if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
