Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
nutella sex= disaster
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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