Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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