Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sarcasm needs its own font
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
