you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
