Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
