I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
