I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Drunk is not a location!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
