I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
