One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
