The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
