Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
