Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
