He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
