i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
