he puts the penis in happiness.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
