I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When are your genitals available?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
