Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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