Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
