Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
