So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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