My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
