You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is the high leading the old right now
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
