I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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