Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
