Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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