I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need to calm my uterus...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
