You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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