Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
