i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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