32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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