this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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