The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
