What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
