WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
