Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Drunk is not a location!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
