No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
