I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize