dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
