im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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