She said her name was "party"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
