I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
