oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize