**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
