what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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