remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
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