Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
