I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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