I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
