3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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