Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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