I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
