it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
