So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
