my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
