I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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