Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
