i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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