you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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