but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
