This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
