Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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