My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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