I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
