so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
