just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
