everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
