The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
